It’s tax time, and I’m not having fun. I’m not complaining, I know it’s necessary, but I just really don’t enjoy this process. I often wonder if accountants and CPAs enjoy their work. I’ve never met anyone who thinks preparing their personal or company tax returns is fun, but I’ve never asked an accountant if they enjoy their work.
I guess certain types of people enjoy record keeping, balancing numbers, and understanding complicated laws and formulas for working out how much tax needs to be paid, how much can be exempted, and what deductions can be applied. I got the hang of it in the US but filing taxes in two countries with different tax years and different formula’s stresses me out, even though I have help.
A lot of new demands have surfaced within the first two months of this year causing me to seek more help. I’ve realized how important it is to find people who know what they’re doing and can help you work through things you don’t understand. Finding the right people is not always easy though.
So, I’ve been calling on my sacred animals and power symbols for inner strength because my anxiety levels are through the roof. Creating collages like the one above helps me feel calmer in the moment, and reminds me that inner strength is our birthright, even though we sometimes feel weak and powerless. For me, inner strength is the ability to persevere with faith and gratitude even though I don’t have all the answers and I might make mistakes. I’m still looking for answers to a lot of things, especially when it’s related to financial matters.
A New Journey Can Be Scary
I’ve always been adventurous. I love to travel, and I love to explore new possibilities in life. I’ve had many different types of jobs and lived in many places. I used to enjoy challenging myself to try new things and learn as much as I could through first-hand experience.
The pandemic has changed things for me. I have to admit that I’ve felt a lot more fearful and reluctant to be adventurous. I think the timing of moving to a new country, becoming a widow, and being locked down because of COVID was like a psychological bomb decimating my hopes and dreams. I’ve been swimming in currents of uncertainty for the past three years.
But little by little I’m plotting a new course. For moments I see flickers of hope and possibilities. Still cautious and somewhat intimidated I look for a foothold to help me move toward where I want to go and what I want to do. It’s easier to be fearless when you’re young and ignorant and have few responsibilities. After experiencing a lifetime of what can go wrong it’s easy to become disempowered. I’m trying to reach past all that and forge a new path.
2 thoughts on “Time Flies Even When You’re Not Having Fun”
Hi Cheryl! I read your post this morning. My heart goes out to you knowing what a challenge you are facing. And the pandemic has been affecting us all in unimaginable ways, on top of or underneath it all. It looks like you’re taking the steps you need to take- journaling, asking for help, reflecting on your inner strengths. The rest is out of your hands. I always tell myself to trust the timing, especially when uncertainty is the dominant energy. You keep taking the tiny steps you can, and trust that you will be guided.
Thanks for the encouragement Robin, I certainly need it at this point. I feel so emotionally reluctant and torn about the trip back to the US so I still haven’t set a date. I am definitely taking baby steps, more like inching my way forward.