Here we are past the middle of January already and everything seems much the same, and yet it’s not. Change happens slowly, almost invisabily, and then smacks us in the face. We are often unprepared. What was your New Year’s Resolution two years ago? How did that work out for you? Very few of us were aware of what we were about to be hit with two years ago.

I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution this year, but I had some general thoughts about wanting to feel better and to experience a kind of rebirth. Instead I’ve been feeling worse physically, mentally, and emotionally. I think the pandemic has finally worn me down. I have not caught COVID, but I have caught “pandemic depression”. I’m trying to gently pull myself out of it or find my way through it.

Small Appearances Can Be Big in Reality

After spending almost two years with closed national borders, sometimes closed state borders, and a severe five month lockdown, Australia has finally invited the pandemic in. From an American point of view the quote below may seem really small, but for Australia it’s a wake up call.

Today, in an article titled “Australia’s Deadliest Day”, The Guardian wrote:

Australia recorded 74 deaths in the past 24 hours. In Queensland, 16 people died, New South Wales recorded 36 deaths and Victoria had 22 deaths. In the first 18 days of the year, more than 530 people have died – about a fifth of the 2,668 who have died throughout the entire pandemic. That’s despite the now dominant Omicron strain being less severe, despite Australia’s relatively low death rate, and despite claims the virus is peaking.

Tory Shepherd

Case numbers have been soaring higher than any other time in the pandemic. Being vaccinated doesn’t seem to matter. The new mantra is “everyone’s going to get it”.

Perspactive is Everything

Compared to other countries like the US that might not seem like much, but for Australia it’s a lot and it’s a big change. Australia is only large in terms of it’s geographical size, but the population is quite small. Australia’s population size ranks just under Madagascar and North Korea, two countries who’s land size is considerably smaller.

I’ve felt safe in Australia until November of last year when our state reached 92% vaccination rate and the government decided it was time to open international borders. People felt hopeful again and everyone started to party. The holidays were coming and we were free. I did not party and I did not feel free or hopeful. I felt scared because I sensed what was coming.

Looking for Real Hope

My son recently moved back to the US and he didn’t catch COVID on the way. I have not been back for almost two years. I’ve only seen my two older children through video calls since February of 2020. I’m tired of the news, tired of being cut off from so many things and people I love, and wondering where the real hope is. I’m thinking too much about preparing things in case I die.

Has anyone out there found a way to stay hopeful? I’m normally a positive thinker and live with gratitude and purposful intention. Now I’m looking for an opening of hope, something that can make a real difference.