I’m always amazed at how these weekly collage prompts reflect my current state of being. Although life seems pretty dull at the moment due to the COVID lockdown, I’m busy making changes to prepare for whatever the future holds. Those are mostly internal changes – mental, emotional and psychological – but from my viewpoint those are the most important changes.

But I love to play with words, ideas and images so my collage for the prompt “Changing” is a little more light-hearted. Trying to re-vamp the way you habitually think or feel can be a bit of a struggle. Working through grief and past trauma can trigger some heavy emotions. It can get overwhelming and even be disappointing, so I try to counter that with a bit of fun.

Look at the Brighter Side

Having been in a strict COVID lockdown for over two months now, comedic relief has become a necessity. Being unvaccinated due to allergies to the available vaccines, I don’t get out much. However I’m normally a person who likes to be on the go. It takes a lot of effort to be optimistic under the circumstances. So I’ve decided to use this time to prepare for a brighter future.

Having a vision for a brighter future is hard when the future looks so uncertian. Partially because of COVID, but also because I’m still figuring out how to live as an Expat widow in unexpected retirement. I was already going through big changes just before COVID hit and traveling played a central role in my retirement plan. So what is my vision for the future now?

I have no idea but that’s what I’m trying to figure out.

Lets Leave an Element of Happy Surprises

I visualized my whole life before and many of my dreams came true, although not exactly in the way I expected. In reality, life can play all kinds of tricks on you while you’re trying to manifest your visions and dreams. A lot of it can be seriously problematic and even traumatic. But at least I can say that I’ve been true to myself and done most of the things I’ve wanted to do in life.

Now I’m trying to envision what’s next. Hopefully I’m wiser with age and experience. I’m trying to pull together all the loose threads of the past and make amends where they’re needed. I’m trying to get interested in new things. I’m taking time to do things that I couldn’t do before. But the future still remains a mystery shrouded in fog.

I’m hoping for some happy surprises and thinking about what I would really like to do that would be meaningful.