There it was, beating so rhythmically, beautifully, never missing a beat. It reminded me of a Salsa dancer and it made me want to dance too. I stared in amazement at this living, pulsating thing that hides inside my chest. Unlike even the best Salsa dancer, it never stops, it keeps pumping to it’s own tune.
“What a beautiful little heart you have”, the doctor said, “everything is working just fine.” It was such a relief to hear those words after having almost collapsed two weeks before. A different problem I can deal with, just add it to the list. But my heart, oh my heart, not that. My father died from cardiovascular disease 5 years ago, and my husband had triple bypass surgery 2 years ago.
The stress test was not stressful at all, but I told the doctors that they should replace the treadmill with a dance contest. The doctors were very personable, kind and caring, even a bit humorous. But the highlight of my visit to the hospital today was meeting my heart through the ultrasound. It reminded me a bit of when I met my babies for the first time that way.
I didn’t expect to experience my heart as if it were a living creature of it’s own, but there it was beating of it’s own free will. I didn’t tell it to beat, so who did? Who made this thing that keeps my life going, who’s will does it follow? Regardless of what I think or feel every day it keeps its rhythm. Regardless of where I go or what I do it adjusts to accommodate my needs. It follows the rules and patterns of it’s own design to feed all other organs with oxygen and nutrients through the blood that it pumps.
It’s amazing to watch. I half expected it to stop or change it’s beat, take a little rest, it was working so hard. But no, it is steady and true to my great relief and joy. How wonderful it is to have a good heart. I will treasure it, protect it and treat it well. It deserves the best I can do for it, after all, it’s been taking care of me for many years now and I wasn’t even paying attention. From now on I will be as true to my heart as it has been to me. I love my heart.