Lovely Spring

I’ve been away, busy, overwhelmed, entertaining guests, and a little under the weather at times. Life has been interesting, ups & downs, wonderful things and immediate concerns rocking my boat a bit. But if the sea were always calm it would be a bit boring, wouldn’t it?

Last week I enjoyed a lovely trip to the seacoast. It was sunny and warm at first, but later became very overcast. I enjoyed both parts of the day for many reasons; I was with family & friends welcoming spring and love was in the air.

Tribute to Mrs. G.

Early Monday morning last week a vary special person I was privileged to know passed away. She lived 101 years but I only knew her during the last year of her life. During that time she had a profound impact on my life.

I only worked for her a little more than 5 months, as an aid. Often I felt that she didn’t really need me, not because she made me feel that way but because she never stopped trying to do everything herself. Of course at 100 you’re going to have some limitations, but she took a walk every day, she did exercises for a leg/hip injury, she sat in the sunshine reading mystery novels, stayed up late watching movies, and went out to lunch or dinner with friends and family several times a week. She lived in her own home, and went to NYC every winter.

Mrs. G as I called her, was a gift from God to me and she became my mentor. Her smile, her sense of humor, her love for people and life, and her straightforwardness were as genuine as gold. She was generous and trusting, and she always made a point to say “thank you” even for the smallest things. Those were the last words I heard her say to me on Saturday 3/2/13.

Those were also some of the last words I said to her last Sunday, because being included in her life and helping her in any way was a great blessing to me. I learned so much from the way she thought, the way she treated people and the way she lived her life. Her attitude and example gave me encouragement, hope and strength at a time when my life was falling apart.

The job itself came at a time when I desperately needed it, but I got so much more than I bargained for. I used to tell her that her house was like Heaven because it was beautiful inside and out, and filled with so much love. It was a calm and comforting refuge during a stressful time in my life, and being in the company of her family and friends was always refreshing.

Mrs. G always complemented me, on my clothes, my hair, my cooking, my driving, and other things, in a way that no one else ever has. It’s not that I don’t get compliments, it’s just that she had a unique way of making me feel special. We had similar interests in art, literature, movies, social issues, spirituality and activities, so I enjoyed every minute I spent with her.  I grew to love her very quickly.

I realized at one point that she was the same age as my grandmother, who died about 17 years ago at age 83. She had some of the same furniture and personal items from that era. however, in spirit she didn’t seem old enough to be my grandmother.

Mrs. G. was a timeless woman, very modern and very hip, most of her friends were much younger than her. She was a successful business woman during a time when very few women were running a business. She was also a great mother and a social activist.

I feel honored that I could accompany her to the events that were held in recognition of her life and accomplishments. I am blessed to have been included in her circle of family & friends, even for such a short time. I will always remember with love and gratitude the impact her life has had on mine.

Reiki Gong Mental & Emotional Stability Practice DVD · Medstartr

Have you heard of Reiki Gong? It’s a combination of Reiki and Qigong. A friend of mine invited me to a retreat that will be in April in Nashville, TN, but I can’t afford to go (wish I could). However, I was intrigued by the content and decided to look into it further.

So I checked out their FB page: Reiki Gong Dynamic Health. As I scrolled through the posts I came across a post about a project they are working on for mental and emotional health. They are trying to create a practice on DVD for those who suffer with mental & emotional health issues and don’t have access to alternative therapies. Reiki Gong Mental & Emotional Stability Practice DVD · Medstartr. I was moved by this and wanted to share it with my readers.

Personally I have not had a lot of success with so called “modern medicine” concerning my own health issues. I am very sensitive to drugs and find that I do better with natural and alternative practices. Through my work I’ve known many people over the years with moderate forms of mental and emotional illnesses and I never experienced that any of them were cured with drugs. Some of them did better for awhile, but then there was always a need to eventually find a better or different drug. In this type of situation I think it’s worth looking into alternatives.

During this past winter I was helping to care for an elderly woman with serious anxiety and depression issues. She was on 3 different types of anti-anxiety, anti-depression medication and she felt terrible all the time. Most of these drugs have side effects that make you feel ill and weak. She was too old to make significant changes in her life and that made me really sad.

Through talking with her, especially when she had “episodes” or “panic attacks”, I realized that she had built a pattern of thoughts and behaviors over a lifetime that had created her present circumstances. She was helpless, needy and totally dependent but this was not because of her age or illnesses. I know people much older than her who have worse ailments but are less needy and dependent, and not depressed at all. I realized through talking with her that most of her mental and physical health issues would not have developed if someone had taught her to think differently when she was young, and to take care of herself.

That experience gave me a lot of motivation to look at my own thought patterns and to put more effort into caring for myself both physically and emotionally. I have always been inspired by people who are pioneering the way of alternative practices in the west. So, if you have a chance, please check out these pages about Reiki Gong and if you like what you see, give them some support.

 

New Challenge

Winter is a difficult time for me physically, mentally and emotionally, so I try to find ways to challenge myself. In the past I could challenge the physical elements of snow and ice by just getting out there, shoveling, sledding, driving, photographing, whatever. Now I still try to do those things, but less than before because I have more physical challenges than in the past.

Challenges that limit us can weaken us mentally and emotionally. To strengthen myself I’ve given myself other positive challenges, like yoga. Since I started attending classes last October, I’ve been able to gradually, very gradually, build strength and health physically, mentally and emotionally. It has not been easy and my class attendance was not always consistent for the first couple months, but I have persisted. Now I’m attending classes twice a week and beginning to practice at home as well.

One thing that helped me with my yoga practice was following a beginners yoga challenge on yogajournal.com. I received daily written inspiration on will power, and a weekly video of yoga practice. It was quick, easy, motivational and free.

In March I will be starting a new challenge, and I invite you to join me if you wish. It is a free 21 day meditation course sponsored by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. I know that sounds kind of commercial, but it looks like it could be valuable. Of course, if you’re already a meditation master maybe you don’t need it. But if you are looking for some guidance to start meditating, some ideas on improving your mental or physical health, or just a little inspiration, then why not try it? It can’t hurt, it’s free, and it’s completely accessible at your own time, location, pace and comfort level.

Starts on March 11, 2013. Here’s the link if you care to join in. http://www.chopracentermeditation.com

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Look for the Good

This woman is now 109 years old and still as optimistic as ever. Please watch this video, it is well worth the full 12 minutes of your time.

Published on Dec 11, 2012

At age 108, Holocaust survivor Alice Herz Sommer still practices piano for 3 hours every day. At age 104, she had a book written about her life: “A Garden Of Eden In Hell.” At age 83, she had cancer. Alice survived the concentration camps through her music, her optimism and her gratitude for the small things that came her way – a smile, a kind word, the sun. When asked about the secret of her longevity, Alice says: “I look where it is good.”

MIA – Hibernation

Where have I been; in a cave, under a rock or in an igloo? Temperatures in the single digits keep the door closed. Howling wind and creaking windows cause me to pull the blankets closer as I mindlessly challenge myself at solitaire, or watch Netflix. Am I a bear in hibernation?

This winter is no worse than others I hibernation 2have endured before, but it feels worse. I feel trapped, confined, limited, and on edge. I pace the floors, chase dust bunnies, mop up puddles under snow boots, the cleaning never ends. I read, I type, I go out, I stay busy but it really doesn’t matter what I do. I am MIA – missing in action, or missing the action might be more accurate.

For many years the weather was tolerable because of my growing family, my work, my community. I was healthy, I had so many ideas and dreams to fulfill, I was busy all the time. The winter was painful but it did not slow me down in the past. I did what had to be done to take care of my family, live happily and stay active in my community.

hibernation 1Now it’s different; my health, my age, our stage of life, our family. I don’t like hibernating like a bear. I want to fly south like a bird, or maybe southwest. It’s time for change, before it’s too late; before I freeze like an ice statue only to melt and disappear when the spring finally arrives.

I want to be free and actively involved in life, contributing something of value. The house and mortgage have become like a ball and chain; the endless repairs are like prison walls. It’s torture, because I love this house. I’ve invested my heart to make it a home. So many memories, so many hopes and dreams not yet fulfilled.

Stay active, keep moving, downsize property and possessions. How much do we really need to be happy? It’s not the material things that make us happy, but the loved ones that are served by those things; our family and friends. Can we pack our family and friends in a bag and take them with us? We can keep in touch but it’s not the same as being together.

Is being together worth being stuck in a painful and unproductive rut, wasting away? Some people feel it is, others do not. I am torn between two natures, two desires, to go and to stay. Some people can afford to do both, but I can not. One thing I know is that I am not a bear, I can not hibernate through the long winter. I don’t want to be MIA from life, I’m not done living yet.

A touching and somewhat related link: http://jamesdez.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/a-letter-from-mom-and-dad/

Weekly Photo Challenge – Resolved

How unresolved my life is right now! There are so many problems hanging in the air that I feel like I’ve fallen into a deep well in the woods. I am confronted with the results of my poor judgment in the past and my limitations in the present. The only thing I have resolved to do is to find gratitude in each day and take one step at a time.

I’m grateful that my kids keep pushing forward with a good heart, regardless of obstacles.kids push w

I’m grateful to know that spring & summer will come again.spring & summer w I’m grateful that even in difficult times we can experience love, hope and happiness.happiness & hopeI’m grateful that I can still move and do things to improve my life, and that is what I have resolved to do …move 2013… to keep moving forward with life, love and gratitude that I can still do something to create change for the better.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/daily-prompt-resolved/

Happy 2013!

I learned a long time ago not to make a big long list of expectations for the new year, in other words, not to set myself up for big disappointments. That doesn’t mean I’m not motivated or that I don’t intend to accomplish things. I intend to accomplish whatever needs to be, and I’m motivated to become my best self; but I’ve realized that I don’t have a lot of control over circumstances that may present themselves. That’s usually what happens to well intentioned New Year’s Resolutions – life gets in the way.

This morning while reading through my emails I found this post by Drew Myron at Off The Page suggesting an “I did it” list as opposed to a resolution list. I think it’s a great idea to focus on what we have accomplished, the value of who we are and what we have right in this moment. It ties in very well with the one new year’s resolution that I did make, which is to find something to be grateful for in every day. By the way, Drew’s inspiration came from another writer, Lisa Romeo, who’s post you can read here.

Last night my family & I were sharing reflections about 2012. It was a hard year for us full of stress, disappointments, loss, incredible demands and huge change that has not ended yet. Through it all we grew closer to each other. We each realized that adversity allows us to find our inner strengths, to focus on what we can do in each moment, and to prioritize our values. A bad year became a good year as we realized how we had grown through our troubles and successfully dealt with our problems.

Toward the end of our sharing some friends stopped by to wish us a happy New Year. Our 2 families have been friends for about 14 or 15 years, so the kids are all teens or young adults and beginning to move in different directions. It was comforting to share this transition from 2012 to 2013 as both our families are also moving forward to new stages of life & lifestyle. Old friends and childhood friends are people you have gone through many experiences with and found value and strength in their company. They are forever friends.

 So here is my “I Did It” list for 2012:

  1. I survived financial collapse, bankruptcy and almost losing our home.
  2. I survived my husbands triple by-pass heart surgery (and he is doing well).
  3. I am moving forward while still dealing with the loss of my mother and another very cherished person in my life, as well as financial & health issues.
  4. I’ve started a yoga practice.
  5. I’m eating in a more healthy way.
  6. I’ve made new friends.
  7. I’ve been a supportive wife & mother through the most stressful year of my life.
  8. I’ve maintained 4 blogs, although not very well at times, but I’m still posting.

My New Year’s resolution:

To love my life & live joyfully by finding gratitude in each day.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge – Surprise & 2012 in Photos

I’m cheating - 2 Challenges in one.

Surprise! On Dec. 24th at 1:00 AM, my daughter came home to NH from her trip to AZ. I made her stand outside the door and wait while I prepared the atmosphere in the living room. A crackling fireplace is something we’ve never had in our house before, but this year thanks to Netflix we had it complete with Christmas Carols!

WElcome home Jaz

2012 In Photos

The year of the Dragon began with sunshine and contemplation.

DSC_0488We never escape the winter whiteness in NH.Out Front WinterA trip to NYC for a change of scenery.Geo 2wSpring comes slowly…and so does change. It’s a difficult year.me at beachThe blooming of hope.Haze wBeauty offers comfort.The imperfectionLife goes on.back wall 4We may need to leave here someday….my living room 2but we can still enjoy what we have for now.Amoskeag damA strong & healthy man recovers quickly.for berter or worseSharing memories with old friends.Lake W2Saying I’ll love you forever, thank you, and goodbye for now.Mom & Me wTaking care of my own health becomes a priority.My yoga 2 For the first time in 20 years we celebrate the holidays in our own little home….first & lastand cope with winter the as best as we can.coping with winter

Interferance

This always seems to happen to my schedules, plans and attempts to create health, discipline and order in my life. Something comes up, someone needs something or I have to go somewhere. It’s a good thing that I have a flexible mind and attitude toward life.

 

I started Yoga classes in October, but then I had to go out of town for a couple weeks. Of course that was very important and I have no regrets about giving up yoga class to be with my mom before she passed away. It just follows with the pattern of life adjustments that I find myself always having to make. I just started getting back into my classes last week and last night my employer asked me if I could change my work schedule, which would require me to find different times and days for yoga classes.

 

I said it would be difficult, but I didn’t say no. It’s hard for me to say no; I tend to be very accommodating. Sometimes that is part of the problem, and sometimes it’s a beneficial attribute. I’m working on becoming more aware of when being accommodating is or is not beneficial.

 

It may work out to my benefit this time. As I reviewed the schedules and possibilities it looked problematic at first, but I determined that taking yoga classes was one of my top priorities at this time in my life. I can not work or live well if I am not healthy in mind and body. Yoga has been helping me mentally, physically and emotionally deal with this stage of life that I was not prepared for. I decided to accommodate myself this time and make it work.

English: Yoga 4 Love Community Outdoor Yoga cl...

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once my priority was set and my mind was determined everything came into focus. The classes at the times that I needed appeared, and a new work schedule became possible. I will lose a few hours of work but I don’t really care. I am choosing to take care of myself, and it’s about time.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge – Reflections

reflections 2w

River-walk Reflectionsreflections 1wLate Autumn sunset at a north eastern beach.  reflections 3w

 

Weekly Photo Challenge – Thankful

DSC_0096My mother passed away the week before Thanksgiving. In order to give enough time for notifying loved ones, to avoid the holiday and allow people to make travel arrangements, we scheduled the memorial service for Dec. 1st. I think this was the first Thanksgiving I have not celebrated with my parents in 55 years.

I’m thankful for my family & friends, and their love and support during this difficult time.

I’m thankful that my mom is not suffering anymore, and that she is in a better place.

I’m thankful for traditions that bring us back together and keep us moving forward.

 http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/weekly-photo-challenge-thankful

Weekly Photo Challenge – Renewal

A timely post as I have been renewing my commitment to health and well being by going to yoga classes, meditating with a lovely smelling candle, and eating healthier.

 

My Christmas cactus is also experiencing renewal, especially since it didn’t bloom at all last year.

This is my daily morning renewal, my special blend, and it’s a nice afternoon renewal as well. God Bless the coffee bean, may they prosper and grow forever!

Renewal – What does it mean to you?

Creativity & Talent

Wow, I just spent the morning looking through about 100 portfolio’s of all sorts of talent and creativity. Some of it was very good, inspiring or interesting at least. Some of it I passed over quickly because it didn’t appeal to my eye or my mind in any way. That doesn’t mean it was bad art, just not my taste. (Sometimes it was bad.) The process of doing this helped me realize some important life lessons about creativity & talent.

  1. Creativity and talent are abundant because they are basic to human nature. Some may have a talent for math and science and others have talent in some form of art.
  2. Creativity relates to how inventive, productive and flexible we are with that talent.
  3. Talent does not equal success, nor does creativity. To be successful your creativity and talent have to be focused in a direction that will provide something that people need or want enough to pay for it. Thus the “starving artist” syndrome.
  4. Success is simply being able to offer something of value in return for being able to support your life (and your children if you choose to have them). In other words, not living an unproductive and irresponsible life that has to be supported by others (if you are a person who is mentally & physically capable of supporting yourself). Success does not necessarily mean becoming a millionaire, it simply means to achieve your goals in life while being self-sufficient.
  5. In order not to become a “starving artist” you have to be realistic about your creative abilities & your talent, and find the market for them. If the market for what you do does not bring adequate income, you will have to find an additional source of income or change what you do.
  6. Life is complicated and challenging and requires a lot more qualities than creativity and talent. Perseverance, determination, confidence, sacrifice, hard work, planning, networking, relationship skills, and the ability to keep learning are all equally important to ones success in life.
  7. A practical skill that uses your talent & creativity is more marketable than your artwork. Only successful people buy art and they usually buy it from successful artists, or dead artists.
  8. No one has to give up on creating beauty or exercising their talent, it can always be something one does for pleasure rather than money.

Big – Sharing The View

 

 

The view was BIG! From every angle a huge landscape. Sometimes we don’t appreciate what we have enough, until we share it.These were taken with my phone yesterday while showing friends from out of town the local scene.
The old road to Robert’s Cove, as kids we ran down to the lake for a swim.
Another view of the lake from a different hill we used to hike. The island in the middle with the two hills is where my parents had a summer cottage.

There is a long family history in these 3 photos that brought back so many memories. Although I have not lived in NH my whole life, I have visited here since I was a baby. My  roots seem to be connected to this lake.

The lake is big, it would take 3 or 4 hours to drive around it. It has many nooks & crannies, coves and bays, islands & rocks. We took our friends on a tour around 1/3rd of it’s edges, the north eastern side, to share our memories and stories. Life is big and that’s why we share it.

 

 

May the Force be with you….

May the Force be with you…..

Another great post by Brad Stanton at Give Me 5 Minutes. I felt my comment would be too long so I decided to post about it.

The interesting thing is that it’s much easier to have faith in a “force” that is outside of ourselves, than to have faith that the “force” is within. Most of us continue to believe in a God that is somehow separate from ourselves, or that we are separate entities from God. That is what we have been taught, isn’t it?

Theology may have taught us that, but Jesus was trying to teach something more when he said to the Jews who wished to stone him, “Is it not written in your own Law, ‘I said: You are God’s'?” (John 10:34) He was referring to Psalm 82:6 which reads, “This is my sentence: God’s you may be, sons all of you of a high God,…” Through out the Gospels Jesus tries to get his disciples and the Jews to understand that God dwells within, and that only our perverse or divided thoughts and feelings prevent God from manifesting in our lives.

Believing that there is a God, a creator, a force out there, is easy and requires little responsibility. Believing that God the creator, “the force” dwells within us requires taking responsibility for what that means: cleaning up the temple. As Jesus said, “There must be no limit to your goodness, as your Heavenly Father’s goodness knows no bounds.” (Matt. 5:48)*

You won’t often hear me quoting the Bible, not because of lack of belief, but because I feel it’s too often misunderstood and misused. I studied the Bible a lot in my 20′s, and I have referred to it often for guidance, or a reminder and refresher when I’ve become distracted by the illusions of this world. It is so easy to forget who we are and where the power comes from, to lose faith in ourselves and the indwelling of that which is holy.

I really appreciate this post by Brad Stanton as it reminds me once again that “the Force” of creation dwells within, that we exist as co-creators of our lives, and that “faith” has as much to do with belief in ourselves as it has to do with belief in the Original Creator.

* All quotes taken from the Oxford Study Edition of The New English Bible.